A People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favor. In fact, they spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. They get their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans, and are always there for family members and friends. So far this sounds like a good thing. Unfortunately, it can be an extremely unhealthy pattern of behavior. Below are some things that are bound to happen to a people pleaser:
1. You don’t know how to cut ties with anyone.
You don’t know how to let go of toxic people in your life in fear of hurting their feelings or making them hate you. You’d rather continue to string them along than to ever have anyone in your life hate your guts.
2. You apologize for literally everything.
Your most used phrase is I’m sorry. You apologize for everything in your life even when things aren’t necessarily your own fault. You hate making other people feel bad about themselves, so you blame a lot of things that happen on yourself and on what you did that was wrong.
3. You don’t know how to say ‘no’.
You never say no. Even if you’re sick with the flu, you still go to work. Even when you are exhausted from no sleep the night beforehand, you still go out with your friends. You set aside yourself just to make other people happy.
4. You don’t make time for yourself.
Because you’re so heavily into making other people in your life feel fulfilled and happy, you rarely make time for yourself. You never take a day off just to relax and enjoy your own company. You are always on the go, never even stopping to take a breath of fresh air. You value the people in your life more than you value yourself.
5. You hold onto past resentments.
You find yourself holding onto past situations that you know you didn’t want to happen, but you did it anyway because you’re a good person and because he or she told you to do it. You hold onto these experiences in your head and harbor a lot of anger towards the people who took advantage of your kindness.
6. People frequently take full advantage of you.
Your friends and family can sometimes take advantage of you because they know that you will literally do anything for them. However if your friends are pressuring you to do things you are uncomfortable with, please don’t take the risk of ruining your life – just to keep a friendship alive.
7. Some people call you weak.
Some people don’t understand why you do so much for others and why you care so much. They don’t get that it brings you immense pleasure to make other people smile, and they truly don’t understand how anyone sane could push aside their feelings for other people.
8. You don’t know how to be selfish.
You don’t know how to make decisions just for yourself or go after what you want if other people don’t agree with it. You feel incredibly uncomfortable doing things that other people disagree with, especially if it’s people you care about. You’d rather make them feel better, than go after what you truly need and want.
9. You would rather hurt yourself than hurt someone else.
Before you make a statement or do practically anything, you think to yourself, what would my friends think? How would my loved ones feel? Instead of making a decision based on your feelings, you make it solely about everyone else.
10. You hold onto friendships and past relationships even if they don’t fulfill you.
You hold onto keeping in touch with all your exe’s and ex besties because you don’t want to disapoint them or cause them pain. In reality, you’re making yourself feel worse and are actually causing yourself more and more anguish. You need to let them go.
11. You’re the king and queen of overanalyzing everything.
There is nothing that you don’t over-analyze. You can’t help it, but before you do anything, you always are asking other people what they think about it and you’re always wanting to do the best thing for them. It’s always about their feelings and their well-being. It’s always about what is more convenient for other people. It’s never, ever about you or your needs.