So this picture of a bride and her guest has been making the rounds on the internet for the past few days, and it is not brain tasking to understand why; we are a bit confused on which one is the bride. This is all thanks to the guest who did not only wear a complete white dress, but a full on wedding gown in its own right.
While many explanations have been given for this behaviour, like the fact that the said guest is a beauty queen; fact still remains that a wedding is not the appropriate place for anyone else to be ‘queening’, other than the bride, which brings us to some important wedding codes;
Thou shall not wear white:
This is the universal golden rule and is absolutely non-negotiable, so please don’t do it. Don’t wear any white hues either like cream or ivory, unless it is an all white party. Some brides actually don’t care what anyone wears, while some may go for the jugular to remind you that it is their wedding. Even if you ask the bride and she says it’s ok, there’s no way to know if she is genuinely ok with it or if she just doesn’t want to be seen as the crazy bride. So we repeat, please don’t do it. Even if the bride can take it, many guests will not. So why not just be respectful, avoid those judgmental eyes and save your neck from a bridezilla. There are so many other great colours to choose from anyway, so what’s your point exactly?
Thou shall not upstage the bride:
Upstaging a bride could come in more ways than one. If for instance it is an all white party, please not something that screams bridal! Not a long dress with a train, flamboyant capes, bare back, plunging necklines, sequins, extremely high slits, transparent materials, skimpy clothing, etc. The bride has most likely spent her whole life planning for this day and you think she wants to share the attention with.. who? Truth is even if you are on a mission for Mr. Right, with over dressing like that, you’ll only end up with Mr. right now. Modesty is key.
Too many extra guests:
It is unusual to have a strictly by invitation wedding in Nigeria, so it may or may not be safe to assume that one can bring an extra guest. The problem is that when it comes to weddings in Nigeria, one or two is the same thing as three or four. Everyone understands how lonely it can get being at a wedding alone, but that does not mean a pass for a battalion. You don’t want to confuse the party with issues concerning sitting and especially when it is time for jollof rice.
About the sitting arrangements:
Yes there is a reason the couple planned the sitting arrangements: it is their wedding and they know what they are doing. All you have to do is respect that, so please sit where you are assigned. If there are no cards or signs to indicate any particular arrangements, follow ushers or just try not to sit on at least the first two rows, unless you want to deal with the embarrassment of being told to move and keep moving.
Letter to Romeo:
We understand you have spent months thinking of ways to propose to your Juliet, and maybe it’s just us, but please don’t do it at someone else’s wedding. That would derail all attention from the couple. Think about how all the guests will be congratulating you all through the event, rather than concentrating on the couple. It is like announcing you are pregnant while someone else is trying to push in the delivery room. You could check with the couple first and if they are okay with it, then maybe that can be done towards the end of the wedding.
And to all sorts of attention seekers:
This is for Miss flamboyant like a peacock, Mr. I can dance like Michael Jackson, Miss I am an extrovert (talk talk), Mr. I can drink like a fish: nobody has time to be dragging you off the dance floor, or worse, if you get so drunk as to grab the mic from the MC. Please, please, please, keep your behavior in check.
Truth is no one makes these rules but the couple themselves, so yes it will help to know the kind of people you are dealing with. The guiding principle should also be putting yourself in their shoes. It is their day, let them have it.