Cheating is one of those socially unacceptable activities. Some reasons for cheating are pretty bad, but other reasons are pretty understandable. Shocking!!!! Right? That there could be a valid reason for cheating? Not in every scenario, not in every couple and not with every person, but the truth of the matter is that we really can’t judge why a person cheats.
Nevertheless, there are several main reasons why women cheat, which are not the same reasons as to why men do it. We all know that men tend to be more animalistic when it comes to human relationships. They are more driven by the sexual act than by other important aspects. My grandmother used to say: “if you want to keep your man happy, keep him happy in the sack”.
Don’t underestimate the power of sex. Even for women it’s very important. But unlike men, women have other very powerful reasons why they cheat. Reasons that have to do with very important psychological and emotional aspects.
Have you ever cheated? If so, read this list and see if any of these reasons are the cause of your infidelity. You might realize that you’re not alone.
1. Searching for Adventure
When you first meet someone there’s a sense of adventure involved, like you’re discovering the unknown. He is a new person that you know nothing about. This is how every relationship started somewhere in time, with two strangers who met each other. Then, if things go well it is followed by marriage, maybe children, and before you know it you’re stuck in a routine.
Husbands are not exciting after a while, life can get boring and ordinary. Many women cheat for this reason, because they’re seeking something new, an adventure, a thrill evoking experience that will distract them from their monotonous lifestyles.
An affair can bring an “easy” escape into a new experience that will awaken strong emotions in a woman. Isn’t this what adventure is about? Exploring somewhere new, feeling intense emotions and letting go of what is familiar.
2. She’s Not Happy in the Sack
Sex is a crucial part of marriage, it’s actually a crucial part in a healthy relationship. When there’s no sex for a long time, it can be an indicator that the relationship is not going well. It’s normal that the amount of sex will diminish with time, but if the sex disappears completely, then something is not right.
Maybe there is still sex in the relationship, but it has become bad. Bad sex or no sex are both reasons for women to seek what they’re lacking at home somewhere else. And that somewhere else can come as someone else. Of course it’s better to get the communication with your partner flowing and to try and fix the problem before having to seek outside what they can’t find inside, but we’re really no one to judge.
A couples’ ability to communicate and solve problems can become heavily damaged for several reasons.
3. She’s Being Ignored
A relationship is like a garden, if you don’t take care of it, it will grow weeds and severely deteriorate. When a woman is ignored by her man, what is she supposed to do? What if she’s worked on trying to get his attention and failed time after time? The most logical thing to do would be to end the relationship, because if you’re being ignored and it’s a clear sign that you’re not being wanted, then why stay in a relationship where you’re not wanted?
But stuff happens, and many times before a woman can end a relationship, she suddenly finds herself in another man’s arms. In a pair of arms that are not her partners’. It’s more normal than we could imagine for women to cheat because they’re being ignored.
As social creatures, we need care, attention and company. These are just some of the main reasons why people pair up together. It’s part of love. When we’re lacking fundamental needs, then it can be pretty normal to seek them where we can find them.
4. She Doesn’t Feel Obliged to Stay Faithful
Women in the past would think twice before cheating, in part because they were dependent on men for many reasons, economic reasons being one of them. A woman on her own would have faced a harsher reality. So even if they fancied the idea of cheating they were many times afraid of doing so, and not just because they were afraid of emotionally harming their partner, but because of the other consequences that that decision could have if their husbands found out.
In current times, in the western world, women have more freedom. We can work, we can live alone, we can pretty much do anything a man can. Many women find this to also be sexually liberating in the sense that they don’t feel as much compromise to be faithful if it’s not something that they want.
Caution though, I’m not saying all women think this way, I’m saying it is a pretty big reason why some women cheat. Simply because they feel that they can, the consequences are not deadly like in some parts of the world.
5. She Fell in Love with Someone Else
The heart wants what the heart wants. It can happen, you’re in a relationship with someone and suddenly your heart falls in love with someone else. Many, and I really mean MANY out there have found themselves in that situation, which can be pretty tricky because you don’t know if this other relationship will evolve into something else, and at the same time you don’t want to let go of your stable relationship.
Emotions can become crossed when a new love interest shows up in your love life and you’re already in a committed relationship. In some cases, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop loving your partner. You just find yourself at odds, wondering who do you love more?
It’s no secret that love can make you do stupid things, we’ve all been there. Doing the impossible for someone and sometimes doing the unthinkable. Some women will cheat in the name of love.
6. She Wants Out
Humans are strange creatures. We have mouths to speak and vocabulary to express our emotions and thoughts. Yet, we do sooooooooo many other things to express inner desires, emotions and thoughts. Many times, this other type of language says more than words.
Women can cheat as a way of wanting to get out of the relationship, but not wanting to say it out loud. Many times, it’s because women simply don’t have it in them to end it and so they leave this decision to their man, practically forcing him to end the relationship because of cheating.
Personally, I hadn’t realized how true this was until I did the research for this article. But I remember many years ago, I cheated on a boyfriend because I wanted out, but didn’t have the guts to tell it to his face, so I cheated and told him I had cheated. That was it, the freedom I longed for, easily given to me by cheating.
7. She Wants to Be the Bad Girl
It might seem outrageous at first, right? To cheat because someone wants to be bad. But we do have it in us, at least many do. Why do most people start smoking? Because they wanted to be bad. For some reason, sometimes it seems like being bad is a lot cooler than being good, and so we try to do small things here and there to prove to ourselves that we can be a different version of ourselves. Some people might eat the whole bowl of ice-cream and other people will cheat. That’s their way of manipulating their own selves into believing that they have a bad side.
It can be thrilling, exciting and bring a temporary idea that the person can in fact be different. It is also a way of holding control, of proving to themselves that they have control over their persona and identity. By being able to switch from good to bad and the other way around.
8. Childhood Trauma
According to the Huffington Post, childhood trauma can cause a woman to develop long-lasting emotional trauma that can be reflected in an unusual addiction to sex, which can lead to serial cheating.
“Such women repeatedly seek emotional intensity rather than relational intimacy. Women with unresolved childhood trauma as well as those with emotional instability can seek consistency and feelings of importance through intensity/based romantic and/or sexual activity”. Says the article published on the Huffington Post.
In such cases, it really isn’t a woman’s fault for cheating. It would however, be advised to seek psychological help to treat the trauma. This could bring great benefits for their emotional health and their love life. But as outsiders, we should always abstain from judging, since we really never know what makes people do the things they do. It’s so easy to judge, but would we do so if we knew that the woman could be suffering from trauma.
9. Seeking Intimacy
Intimacy is like water for plants. If there’s no intimacy in a relationship, then it pretty much just makes you roommates. If a woman is not getting intimacy in her relationship it can push her into seeking this need in another man.
Intimacy is a personal connection that allows us to feel more in touch with another human being, it is an essential part of romantic life. It is something that can easily go out the window if it’s not nourished and cared for.
Women more than men tend to seek this in a partner. For women, this aspect is most important in a relationship, which is why it becomes one of the top reasons for cheating. Seeking intimacy in another man doesn’t necessarily mean they will find it, but it gives them hope that they can find it, and hope alone is a powerful reason to make them rationalize cheating.
10. She’s Looking for More
This can become like buying a new car, at the start you’re all excited and happy but as the years go by your new car becomes an old car. New cars start coming out with all these new gadgets, like front cameras and stuff. You start feeling like your old and reliable car is not really doing it for you.
Your old car still has all the cool gadgets from back in the day, but now you want more. You want leather seats, back and front cameras, GPS and the list goes on. You become dissatisfied and believe that taking a new car for a test drive will give you that extra kick that you need.
This is an analogy for when women are looking for more. Their old partner becomes too familiar. They may have idolized what the relationship would be like, and when those expectations aren’t met, desire settles in. Sometimes it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with their partner, it just means that they dreamed too high.
He cheated, so she cheats as well. Revenge is a dish that is best served cold. And who are we kidding? Women are masters at making things cold for men. Cheating is just one more on the list.
When a woman gets deeply hurt because her man cheated, suddenly she feels like she gets the door open to do the same thing without any retaliation. It might be like a short-lived exit. They know they won’t be able to play that card a few years down the line, so it’s better to do it while the situation is still hot.
It can also be done with the purpose of intentionally hurting the other person because he has hurt her so deeply. A way of showing a demonstration of the pain he has inflicted, with the hopes that by experiencing it first hand he’ll be discouraged from cheating again.
12. Growing Older
When a woman is young, she feels like she can have any man she desires. This is particularly true in your teenage years, your 20s and your 30s. Well… at least your early 30s. But when a woman starts getting older, she can feel like she’s leaving her best days behind her. That she might not have many years under her belt to be desirable to men.
Having an affair can help some women deal with the consequences of time and the perception that desire comes from youthful looks. According to marriage therapist Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. an affair can make a woman feel more desirable. And so, she gets the idea that she’s growing “ugly” out of her head because she realizes that her looks can still pick her up a man.
The mind works in mysterious ways, and many times men and women in general are not fully conscious of their subconscious actions. Many of which are detrimental to their lives.
13. They Can’t Commit to Just One Partner
Some people just don’t have the commitment gene really implanted in their minds. You’ve seen it, those men who just can’t keep it in their pants. Well… believe it or not, there are also women who can’t fully and monogamously commit to their partner.
It’s not just that they keep an eye out for any possible new cheating prospects but many times those men will automatically come to them. This doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s because they have previous trauma, but because they simply like variety when it comes to sex. Not everybody believes in monogamy, some people prefer open relationships. What’s not cool about that situation is if their partner does like monogamous relationships, in which case it would just be easier to be honest and tell them what is it they’re looking for.
This is very different than not being able to commit. It’s like being on a diet and then having in front of you a delicious piece of chocolate cake. You know you shouldn’t eat it. You know it’s wrong, but your willpower is on the floor, you can’t help yourself and you cave. What’s even worse is when you really, really enjoy it. To the point where you feel nearly no remorse and feel content by caving.
This pleasurable feeling is short lived, of course. Because eventually, and this is in case you really love your partner, the guilt will follow.
We’re humans, and temptation can many times be too great to pass on. It doesn’t necessary makes someone a horrible person, it just makes them weak. After you finish eating the cake, yes, you’re satisfied, but you kind of wish you hadn’t eaten it, because it means you broke a very important diet.
15. Being Mistreated
There are many ways how a woman can be mistreated, and this is a HUGE reason why women cheat. They look outside for something better than what they’ve got at home. Can you blame them? If anything, it would be wrong to stay in a miserable relationship. So why would they stay in those relationships? Who knows, but it’s not always that women have a choice.
There could be a million different scenarios that force a woman into being in a hazardous relationship. But if they can find some love outside then good for them. Sometimes it’s just a matter of searching to find what works for you.
We all make mistakes, sometimes ending up in a bad relationship, one from which you want to run away from but can’t, can become an incredibly painful mistake.